


Influx of Emotions

by yuuki_Illene



Category: Guilty Crown
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-19 23:41:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2407199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuuki_Illene/pseuds/yuuki_Illene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anguish. Despair. Sorrow. Hope. One of the many different emotions that Shu felt after losing Inori. It starts with that. In the time space of that moment to ten years later, its just a simple recollection of the events and feelings that happened that led him to what he was inevitably. Filled with jarring things and most of all, time that changes him for the better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Influx of Emotions

Voices and pain.

That was all Shu could comprehend in his current state of mind.

"Someone get help! There's someone trapped under the rubble!" A person yelled, making Shu groan slightly. There was an unknown pressure on him and it felt… _suffocating_ , to say the least.

"Inori…." He croaked. His voice felt foreign to him – it was too scratchy to pass off as anything, and he tried to fumble his entrapped hand for the warmth of his lover, but all he could feel was her lingering, cold presence.

"Inori… Inori…. Inori…." He tried to scream, as sobs started to choke him with the grief that overcame him. Where was she, when he needed her the most? Where was the person who was a constant by his side, through his mistakes and downfall?

He asked for nothing but her in the present moment, wanting her more than anything else.

He felt someone try to lift the object of oppression, with a few more people joining in the quest.

"Haul it up in the count of three! Get a vehicle to bring him to the nearest medical facility!" The person yelled again, clearly the leader.

Another with a soft voice leaned over and whispered: "Stay with us alright? Don't fade away just yet."

That was the last thing he remembered before his mind blanked out and if possible; his world looked even darker with the lack of comprehension for his surroundings.

~*~+~*~+~*~+ Influx of Emotions +~*~+~*~+~*~

The brunette groaned as he woke up, every inch of his body spiking with an unknown source of pain.

Yet, nothing could compare to the emptiness in his heart as he remembered the incidents that had come to pass.

' _Take it._ ' She had smiled angelically at him, the same smile that had soothed him so many times. He reached out in wonder to the complex bands that she had formed, changing it into one anew.

That had been his undoing.

She had smiled as if it was meant to be – the words she had declared " _Stay with me_ " seemingly losing its meaning as she faded anyway and the crystals shattering around him. They rang so loudly in his ears as if it was the signal that broke him from the sins he had condemned himself with and he just… _Fell_.

She had done one thing he never knew those designs meant – giving him her lifespan and took his as her own fate.

Fat tears started to roll down his face and he screamed of the loss of his Inori. His songbird that no longer ceased to exist in the world he had decided to sacrifice himself for. He desperately tried to feel for the wires that were attached to him and yanked it off to join where she had gone to, but before he could, something bombarded upon him.

"Shu… Shu!" Familiar voices shouted at him, as he felt himself being pulled back onto the bed as people embraced him.

Their warmth felt like it was nothing because his stone-cold heart could no long be defrosted. 

He had tried to open his eyes, but no matter how he did, it was just pure, pitch-black darkness.

Like how empty his world felt.

The remnants and the constant reminder of what she had done.

The consequence he had never wished for.

"Inori is gone… She's gone forever…." He choked out numbly which made them hug him even tighter.

He used his able hand to touch his eyes that no longer functioned the way it should. "I can no longer see…. It's all gone… Ripped away." The despair and anguish overwhelmed him as he started to wail, trying yet again to rip off the wires that supported his life span.

He didn't want to live in a world where she no longer existed, because without her, it would be forever bleak and with not a hope of light being able to shine through. What was the meaning of his life without the pillar of support that he had relied on for so long? 

Forever; she had promised, but it was only composed of moments that only remained in his memories, and he feared that he might come to forget it. He didn't want to forget it – every touch, word, and gesture she ever said or did. He didn't want to forget her familiar frame draped in her dresses and the determined look that was superimposed with action, or the way her eyes would flutter close when she sang. Yet he knew it was inevitable. Time would erode his memories and replace them with new ones. Time would be the remedy to his wounds.

 But he didn't want to heal. He didn't want to be here. He would rather be dead, in another world that had lesser problems and circumstance would no longer separate them. A place where they could happy together. They could have been _happier_.

"Shu… stop trying to beat yourself up for something you couldn't control…" Ayase tried to convince him. "You are alive for a reason… maybe she wanted you to live the life she could no longer live."

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" He screamed as he tried to push her away, streams of tears staining his face. "Please… please get away from me…" Shu sobbed as he clutched onto his chest.

He would not – he refused to accept his fact. He refused to live the world where he could not be next to the love of his life.

"Shu, stop being an idiot!" Tsugami reprimanded and he felt a light slap on his cheek before a piece of cloth wiped away some of his tears.

"You had been prepared to lose your life there… we all knew. But Inori wanted you to live. She will never be forgotten… because you're the legacy of her love. The thing that remains in a reminder that she existed. That the chaos existed. The person you became with her is worth living and abandoning her wishes is equivalent to forgetting her."

As the raven-haired girl said that, the old memories of everything flooded back to him like a torrent and started to cry even harder.

_'Shu_.' She had gasped as her hands touched his – crystal on skin alternatively. She had rested her head on his shoulder as if it was her safety. _'Stay with me. I'm on your side. Okay?'_

Had he been given more time he would realize this – they matched one another. They had partially crystallized faces and limbs, one with sight and the other with it; and yet both incredibly stupid when it came to decisions.

But he was fine with it – it made them both human. That moment, they weren't the King and Queen of the Void or Adam and Eve with the guilty crown; they were just Shu and Inori. Humans in love. It was simple but the end meant everything to him.

_'Inori, let's go together.'_

In that moment, it seemed perfect, flawless almost.

They'd be free from the tragedy dictated upon them when they had first come in contact with the crystals, free from what they should or should not be. They did not have to be dictated by another person's narrative and they could live their life as their own.

It was selfish to take her along but he wanted her with him. He didn't want to leave her alone.

He made the choice for her. And then she made a choice for him too.

"Please live the world she no longer could… I'm sorry for asking you for such an ambitious thing Shu." Ayase murmured and he felt her squeeze his hand. 

"And maybe when you meet her with Gai and Mana, you can tell her all about it. The life of Tokyo that was renewed. The place you fought so hard for its freedom. Love her enough to let her go. She would have wanted that." One of them pleaded.

"There's nothing to that. All I can feel or remember –" He said as he reached out towards the invisible space before him, trying to feel the nothingness she had become- "Is the lack of her presence, the lack of light without her and the melodious voice that will never grace my ears ever again."

"HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO LIVE WITH THAT?" He shouted, backing away to the end of his bed, only to nearly fall off the structure that supported his weight.

His friends reached out towards him in alarm, catching him in time before he fell.

"How do you expect me to go on like that…? How do you expect me to live in this miserable world that forced this upon us, and make me leave with the miserable reminder that she is not here anymore? Just let me join her…" He spoke, with the intensity of his heartache filling the room.

His friends watched from the sidelines, their hearts breaking for the man who could no longer find his ground due to the amount of pain he felt. They knew no words could comfort him and only time could remedy for it, but even time left scars upon one's heart that no one could heal.

"I can't promise to bring you back Inori." Ayase's voice shook with her sadness for her friend. "All I can promise is that we'll be here with you to lessen the pain and tell you that you're not alone. But I absolutely cannot let you die because Inori wouldn't have wanted that."

"She's never really gone," Tsugami added, before pressing her hand against his chest. "She will always be in here, the special place in your heart that only she can reach."

"And because we owe you our lives… we will help you heal. Rather – we will make it easier because that's what friends do."

"Can you leave me to me for awhile then?" He choked. "I'd like to be alone. I can't stand being with so many people when the truth still suffocates me."

They looked at one another for confirmation, before nodding.

Tsugami then placed a device on his hand. "We found this broken device in your apartment when we were looking for a spare change of clothes for you. We fixed it. Apparently, it's something that Inori would like you to have."

Shu glanced his sightless eyes towards her direction, and for the first time, everyone saw how much he was hurting. The eyes that used to hold so many emotions in a spectrum had seemed lifeless and dead, only filled with what he could remember and the bleakness of finality.

"Can you help me put it on?" He had asked softly.

She just nodded simply and bit back her tears as she placed the device correctly onto his ears and press play. She then brought his hand over and muttered where the buttons to the commands were before she pushed Ayase out and left him to his solitude.

The moment the door shut and the music filled his ears, was when he truly cried to the extent he nearly couldn't breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to admit this; I was crying as I wrote this chapter and crying as I thought of other ideas. I'm sorry if I didn't portray it well enough. There are only these many ways I could think of to convey the emotions he may have felt, and I'm grateful to have a chance.
> 
> I'm not going to say I'm the best fanfiction writer out there and probably many people have thought of ideas like this. But if it impacted you as much as it did to me, tell me in the reviews about what you thought. That's all I ask. Perhaps, I'll even add another chapter to this.


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